Reunions and Reconciliations: I Feel Good!

Metallica, Summer of '98. Ah, the Way We Was... Front Row: Wayne "Wayniac" Barone, Chris "David Spade" Smale; Second Row: Jessica "Meow" Rooney, Sharon "Chewie" Owens, Matt "K-Rock" Bishop, Al "Big Puppy Guy" Lee, Chris "Aces" Lynch; Third Row: Tom "Searing Gas Pain" Crimmins, Mike "Outback" Taggert, Jim "Not Impressed" Grant, Mike "Oose" Crimmins, John "Z" Zembruski, Mike "Never Seen Again" Corrado, Brian "Pimp Daddy" Craine, Mike "Monty" Montalbano, Chris " C Dawg" Veros; Back Row: Chris "Scat-man" Anskat (Not Pictured: Warren "I Escaped" Kelly)

What a week!

Friday: Wedding in Hoboken. Saturday: Birthday at Dave and Busters. Sunday: 'Nother Wedding. Following Thursday: College Reunion.

Clearly, the most social week I've had this year. Actually, the most social week I've had since I graduated college. Man, it was great to see so many of my friends. Suddenly, I didn't feel so isolated.

I think, one of the great emerging dangers as one tramps through the untested waters of their latter 20's (ie: the big blank space on your personal road map that comes right after you graduate. Old timey cartographers used to just draw sea serpents and krakens there...) It's true: After you hand in the ol' mortar board and gown, you're then faced with the nigh insurmountable task of "Getting on with your life." Easily said... but not always so easily accomplished. But anyway, the great booby trap of adulthood is losing track of your friends, chums, acquaintances, and so-forth. This is a tricky time. For me, in these last couple of years, I've seen my relationships grow and shrink, bolster and wither, appear and disappear. Typically, at least for me, at my great moments of transition, ie: graduating college, graduating high school, leaving grade school, starting school, being born... you know... you re-assess things. At these transition points, some friends are ultimately (sometimes needlessly, other times appropriately) relegated to "the past," and you move on.

Being born was the biggest transition of all, as I had to bid farewell to my old pad. It was so awesome. I had a hard time letting go, after all, could you blame me? It was my first place on my own. Freakin' landlord served me with an eviction after only nine months! I held on for three more weeks, but she eventually tossed me out, head-first. I had to say goodbye to my best bud, Placenta. That guy was great. He had the best record collection...

And so it went, transition, comfortability, transition again. One of those "circle of life" sorta things.

But in the inevitable course of adult life, many people pair up with another special someone, and suddenly, your social life shrinks a bit. Then you have to pay your dues and work hard, and your social life shrinks a little bit more. This is especially hard to deal with right after college, as you went from a relatively stable social institution in which the pool of new people to meet was annually replenished every year you were there. So you go from that to "BOOM" the workplace.

And maybe, and in this I suppose I can only speak for myself, you start justifying the withering of communication lines. After all, relationships all run their courses... some for a long time, even forever, but most other relationships don't last so long. You let distances grow... and you let words remain unsaid. And even if you don't consciously know it, you silently grieve for the lost friendships of your past.

Of course, you don't realize how much you've missed them until you actually get to see them again. And, in the roundabout cosmic justice we get to see now and again, timely marriages help to bring together disparate cronies from "back in the day." And suddenly, you're back in high school again... or you're back in college again. "What? Someone else knows who Paganelli was? Somebody knows what to yell when a plate is dropped in a public place? Wait, you had that weird English Professor who found sexual references in everything? Someone else remembers that ridiculous fight over who forgot to do the dishes while living in Rome that summer semester? Uh oh, someone knows my old nickname?"

It's a great feeling. It's like a little time machine. Suddenly, you're not a cranky pre-med student trying to get in 30 minutes of cardio exercise each day. No... now, for a couple of minutes, you're 17 again, acting like a total ass.

That's the beauty of old friendships.

"History."

These people remind you that you had a life before graduation. You had a life before school loans. Before rent or mortgages. Before cubicles.

So, waxing poetically aside, I'm happy to report that I've touched base with many special people from my past. Of course, now comes the tricky part to see if they could still be special people in my present, and possibly future. Being the organizational ogre that I am, I'll see about setting up some sort of gathering this summer and see where it leads.

I've also finally understood the merit of NOT mixing friend groups. Since freshman year of college, I've tried to merge these various social circles into some sort of cohesive conglomeration to no avail. At a typical Christmas or Summer Party, various cliques would segregate themselves to various wings of my parents' property, like incompatible ecosystems. This awkwardness possibly lead to the growing distance and eventual departure of various bygone friends and acquaintances. So, lesson learned, I'll approach setting up future gatherings more logically and with this "non-mixing" maxim in mind.

In our journey through life, what matters most are the people we choose to share it with. And I am sublimely grateful for the good people I have in mine. Most certainly, I feel supremely lucky to have a woman of such quality like Ally in my life. And, naturally, I must cite those dear friends of mine who have withstood the test of time and transitions, and remain as close, (if not closer) as ever. These individuals (who know who they are), I can count on every day. My deepest thanks to you guys!

Okay...

Had enough whine and cheese? Did you like the violin music? Boy-oh-boy, can I turn this stuff on, or what? In all seriousness, I meant every word. I guess I can sum things up by saying that I had a really good week, meeting and reconnecting with good friends, old friends, and even a certain someone with whom I never thought I'd speak to again.

Just one of those feel-good times.

I'll enjoy it while it lasts...


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