Scared Yet?

"Does this look infected?" Tom just wants a hug from Jim "I Took Shore-Leave For This?!" Grant, Esteban Caliente, Wayne "Flowing Golden Locks" Barone, Dan "You'll Never Know the Touch of a Woman" Whatsisface, Un-named Party-goer, and Brian "It burns! It burns!" Craine

What a way to greet the curious blog-reader!

"Tom's Nekkid Back!"

Eeeuww!

This photographic folly features a retina-raping view of way-too-much Tom flesh (with worrisome proto-bald spot? God, I hope not), with a stunning array of people invited to a long-ago party that is best forgotten, or even better, in this case, mocked. Sheesh, who is that in the back of the picture? McNally?! I have absolutely no idea... Someone help me out with this one.

Why the picture? I was trying to use an image that could appropriately reflect the subject of today's entry. "Scary Nightmares."

I don't know why, but it's been on my mind lately. I've had recurring nightmares the last couple of days featuring zombies.

I can pretty much extrapolate that the reason why the undead have been my recent guest stars in my night terrors is probably due to the movies I've been watching lately. (I know, pretty unexciting reasons, right?) In the last couple of weeks, I've seen Resident Evil, Shaun of the Dead (If you haven't seen it yet... SEE IT!), Bram Stoker's Dracula (not zombies, but they are undead!), and finally... after a far-too-long wait, the Dawn of the Dead remake (you know, the one with Ving Rhames?) I think DotD probably made the biggest impression on me, and is reflected most vividly in my nightmares. My dreams usually involve me working at the hospital ER, treating patients from a recent epidemic, when they start turning into zombies. The rest of the nightmare is typically me trying to barricade myself and anyone uninfected away from the zombies in the hospital. I've woken up several times this past week in a cold sweat.

What makes these latter-day zombies so scary to me, is the whole infection angle. I mean, a creature trying to eat you is fine and dandy. That you can see every day in nature. But some undead, perverted parody of life somehow infecting you with any sort of breaking-your-skin contact really strikes a chord with me. Those creatures actually turn you into a zombie, too! Suddenly, those shambling monstrosities got a whole lot scarier.

I don't confess to be an expert on zombie films, but I was unaware of this particular trait in zombies before this string of films came out, ie: Resident Evil, Shaun, and DotD. Up until now, I just thought zombies burst out of cemetaries, shambled awkwardly (and slowly!) towards some suburban area, tried to eat your brains, and occasionally break into a dance number with Michael Jackson. I knew about how werewolves will turn you into another werewolf, and a vampire will turn you into another vampire under similar conditions... but these consequences also have a hidden silver lining.

Sure you're a vampire...

...but vampires are cool.

Unless movies have been lying to me, and I'm sure they have not, I am under the impression that once turned into a vampire, you suddenly become an ultra-sexy, super-cool, mega-strong, and extra-snappy dude. Or dudette. Sure, you prey on the living in an eternal twilight existence, but you get to wear black leather every day, and your hair is always perfect.

But not zombies. Eww. You just become a dessicated corpse ambling about trying to attack living people. And that was sort of weird in Resident Evil and DotD... why are they attacking? Because it doesn't seem to be that they're actually trying to eat you. They just sort of gnaw on you a bit, but then step back and let you become another zombie. There doesn't seem to be any other agenda. But, ultimately, I think that mindlessness is probably the most terrifying characteristic of these latter-day zombies. They're just attacking for no reason at all.

Now, this summer, another zombie flick is coming to a megaplex near you, Undead. And I'm sure it's going the freak the heck out of me when I see it. Inevitably. Sigh...

Feedback Question of the Day:
"Any good nightmares you'd like to share?"

For more nightmares, check out one of my favorite sites: www.somethingawful.com
And for some funny dream cartoons, check out this site.