Lest WE Not Forget...

Flipping through the channels today, I found one of my all-time favorite movies showing on cable - Back to the Future. It's towards the end, Marty is falling apart on stage, trying to play the chords to "Earth Angel," hoping his father will stand up for himself and finally kiss Lorraine. He's looking at the picture that once showed he and his two siblings, now nearly faded away... Marty's hand is disappearing in front of him, in what was probably the height of movie special effects back in the day, when suddenly George McFly knocks the mean red-head kid (who stole Lorraine from him a few moments earlier) onto his butt, grabs Lorraine, and plants a big smooch. Miraculously, Marty's back, his siblings are back, and most importantly - his prodigious guitar skillz are back. It's one of many great moments of a great movie.

But to my dismay, as the movie cuts for commercial, I am confronted with the cable station's method of presentation of Back to the Future... it's called, "Three Men and a Chick Flick." Is the "We" (presumably standing for "Women's Entertainment," or something) network somehow insinuating that Back to the Future is a "chick flick"?!

"Great Scot! I love Huey Lewis and the News!"

Back to the Future is many things - a great '80's movie, a soundtrack showcase for Huey Lewis and the News (Goin' BACK - IN - TIME!), arguably one of Christopher Lloyd's best roles (Doc), and further proof that Michael J. Fox is awesome. But a "chick flick"? Never.

I'm not bashing chick flicks, either. Everything has its place - even chick flicks. I myself have a soft spot for los flicas chicas. I've gotten a kick out of You've Got Mail, and have caught myself watching Kate & Leopold more than once (although the latter may have more to do with my unresolved Hugh Jackman issues... but I digress) But under no circumstances, can Back to the Future be even loosely considered a "chick flick." And I'm willing to bet that chicks everywhere would agree.

In no particular order, I present my Top Ten '80's Movies. This is a completely arbitrary list, with no order of significance. The only criteria I'm following is thus: These are '80's movies that mattered to me in the '80's. There are no retroactive "favorite '80's movies" that I first saw in the 90's or later... otherwise this list would be a lot longer than ten!

Back to the Future (1985)

Back to the Future, like The Matrix, is a great, great film that spawned a somewhat unnecessary trilogy. Though the sequels were good, this first one easily stands alone as an excellent story. Seen in my misty, halcyon youth in the 1980's, I later assumed I only loved it because I was a kid, and it had a time-travelling Michael J. Fox in it. Not so. This movie can be appreciated on its own merits today - great story, great cast, great soundtrack, great dialogue. This isn't just one of my favorite '80's movies - it's simply one of my favorite movies of all time!

Random Quote - Wino: "Crazy Drunk Drivers!"

The Goonies (1985)

For any child of the '80's, The Goonies isn't a movie - it's a cultural touchstone. We've all seen it, cherished it, wished we were in it. This is childhood dreams purely distilled, the finest kids movie ever crafted. It has all the right ingredients - a treasure map, an asthmatic hero, booby trap-laden tunnels, the chubby kid, pirates, a superstrong mutant with a heart of gold, the Asian inventor kid, shorts worn over sweatpants, and Corey Feldman. One day, I fear they may remake this beauty, complete with superfluous CGI and a hip-hop talking parrot... but such hackneyed attempts to duplicate this masterpiece will only demonstrate The Goonies' majesty.

Random Quote - Chunk: "In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play."

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

One of my all-time favorites. Seriously. I know I'm sort of wallowing in hyperbole, here. But this seriously is in my ultimate top-ten. For serious. This infinitely quotable flick, with an off-the-wall, random story, unforgettable characters, and a weird garage in the middle of the woods makes you wish you could spend the day with Ferris, too. And let us not forget, that this is one of the few great '80's movies to also have the distinction of inspiring the name of an excellent ska band. Combining great dialogue, a main character that continually breaks the fourth wall, and radical editing stye, I like to think of this as the Citizen Kane of teen movies. What other flick could combine "Danke Schoen" with "Twist and Shout" and make it work so well?

Random Quote - Grace: "Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude."

Ghost Busters (1984)

Ha! Like I'd ever forget this one! Another great, quotable movie (I never realized HOW quotable until Gordo entered our lives). But really, back in the '80's, what kid could resist a movie with ghosts and the comic stylings of Harold Ramis? Not this one, let me tell you! Of course, to truly understand the significance of Ghost Busters, you have to picture a time when everyone was wearing the Ghost Buster t-shirts and listening to the Ghost Buster song on the radio. Inevitably, the movie would spawn a worthy sequel, as well as a cartoon series and toy line. Yay, capitalism!

Random Quote - Dr. Peter Venkman: "I feel so funky."

Gremlins (1984)

Gremlins, man! How could I not include this one? Although the first one was a whole lot scarier than its goofier sequel, it didn't stop retailers from merchandizing the hell out of Gizmo and his reptilian foes. Colorforms, coloring books, dolls, toys, Happy Meals, video games... (I'm surprised they never tried a Saturday morning cartoon!) I would also be remiss if I didn't mention another significant aspect of Gremlins' impact on my 6-year-old mind... apparently a young, doe-eyed Phoebe Cates turned me irrevocably onto brunettes for the rest of my life. The resemblance is uncanny... y'know what I mean? Phoebe's other significant impact on '80's cinema is the classic Fast Times at Ridgemont High... and though I love that movie, I haven't included it because I didn't see it until only a few years ago. But even though it's not on the list, it still won't stop me from posting this:

I think if I say anything more about this, it will just get me into deeper trouble...

Random Quote - Gizmo: "Bright Light! Bright Light!"

Flight of the Navigator (1986)

Remember this one? The kid from 1978 gets taken in a time-travelling spaceship to 1986, only to be pursued by NASA? This was a fun little Disney flick that showcased some neat special effects that still sort of hold up to today's viewer. This kinda looks like the protype technology theat lead to the "liquid metal" T-1000. When I first watched it, back in the day, I was confused by all the time-travel logic, but years of incessant comic books and sci-fi movies have cleared up any confusion. I just think it's a cool little movie, wherein a boy gets to command a space ship, befriend an alien computer with Pee Wee Herman's voice, travel through time, and adopt a tiny little orange critter. What more could you want?

Random Quote - Max: "See ya later, Navigator!"

Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985)

I guess while we're on the subject of Pee-wee Herman, I should mention this gem. Directed by Tim Burton over 20 years ago, Pee-wee's Big Adventure told the story of Pee-wee's quest to regain his beloved stolen bike. Honestly, you probably haven't watched this in over ten years, but it's still a lot of fun to watch. What's interesting, now, is that you catch some of the more adult humor in some of the dialogue that you completely missed when you saw this back in the '80's. This is the movie that made you dance to "Tequila," this is the movie that bestowed the pearl of argumentative wisdom, "I know you are, but what am I?" to a grateful world, and this is the movie that made us all wonder, "IS there a basement in the alamo?" Watch this again. You won't be disappointed!

Random Quote - Large Marge: "Be sure and tell 'em Large Marge sent ya! Ha Ha Ha!"

Big (1988)

Most boys of the 80's had either one of two different movie-Tom-inspired dream jobs - one was following Tom Cruise's footsteps in Top Gun and becoming a Navy fighter pilot, the other was following Tom Hanks' character as Vice President in Charge of Toy Development ("...and they pay you for this? Suckers!") in Big. Like Back to the Future, you can watch this movie a million times and always enjoy it. Great scenes, great lines, and even a Jon Lovitz role! The white tux, the racquetball game, "I don't get it," and of course, who could forget the famous FAO Schwartz scene? "Heart and Soul," anyone?

Random Quote - Josh: "Well, okay... but I get to be on top."

The Karate Kid (1984)

Whoops. Y'know, after plucking this heartwarming picture from the internet, I've realized that there's some sort of cartoon carrot riding in Miyagi's breast pocket... oh well. It's still a tender moment. Karate Kid was a great movie when we were kids. Who amongst you has never tied a headband on while practising the "crane kick"? That's right, we've all done it. We learned the wisdom of "wax-on, wax-off," that bad guys always wore the black gi, and that blonde guys named, "Johnny" were always the baddest of all. I fondly remember being so fired up by watching the movie, that my brother and I would be having full-on living room-demolishing karate battles by the time the credits were starting to roll. Ahh... childhood.

Random Quote - Miyagi: "Banzai!"

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

"E.T. Phone Home!" An entire generation wept, when that lovable little guy died at the hands of the creepy government scientists and scary crashing-through-windows spacemen. Heck, I'm sure there are a lot of fellow 20-somethings whose distrust of the government took root with this movie. Don't let E.T. die! Don't put him in the refrigerator! Look! Look! The flowers are blooming again! E.T.'s alive! Almost two decades before the emotional manipulation of Titanic, E.T. had us all laughing, crying, cheering... rinse and repeat. Like Gremlins later on, E.T. was everwhere - toys, play-doh, underoos, unintelligible Atari games... Strangely, E.T. doesn't come on TV that often. To be honest, I haven't seen the movie in a long, long time. How could such a much-beloved classic be overlooked?

Random Quote - E.T.: "Be Good."