50 Cent, Eat Your Heart Out. Amazing as it is, the gigantic gold crucifix, black speedo, and hairy chest combo just hasn't caught-on, this side of the Atlantic.

So, while sitting on my beach chair, my pale, fish-belly Irish skin brazenly exposed to sun, reading through my notes on DNA replication, I happened to notice three guys hanging out together on two towels. They were blonde, middle-aged white guys, and they were curled out on the sand dune... awfully close to each other. Do the math, 3 guys, 2 towels. Not a lot of personal space. So Ally and I exchanged furtive glances...

"Ally, what do you think? Gay?"

"Maybe..."

I quickly re-evaluated the scene: "Umm... maybe not. Y'know, they might just be European." And at one point, I actually did hear them speaking in German or a German accent. They fit the look. And European men don't have as many hang-ups about personal space as American men do.

Which brings me to the title of the article: "Are you European? ...or just gay?"