Lines Writ at Med School, Pt. 4

So... have you heard the news?

Yep, I'm getting married.

Don't believe me? I have another blog to prove it. Check out Wedded Blitz!
The wedding blog will be a bit more tame, if only because it's an important subject, and shouldn't be treated irreverently. Plus, I anticipate that my in-laws see it somehow. And being a little more straight-laced for a wedding blog is a small price to pay to avoid awkward Thanksgivings in the future.

But I'm okay with that. I'll just get the rest of my sarcasm (such as it is) out on this blog. It all works out rather nicely. Somehow, beer pong tables will not appear on the other one.

In other, non-matrimonial news, K-Rock, 92.3, WXRK New York, will be changing their format, once again. This is a big shame, primarily because I like getting to hear Metallica, Van Halen, Guns N Roses, Rage Against the Machine, and Alice In Chains all within the same hour. I also like not having to listen to Sum 41. I appreciate that. It's the little things in life that make the difference.

But, alas, their new "Great Rock. Period." format will be changing after the new year to "K-Rock Free FM." Which is pretty freakin' weak... and for several reasons.

1) I liked their current format. Simply put, it's got good music. I found it to be pretty sweet just to have K-Rock play some good music finally, as penance for indirectly ruining the best radio station ever, Q104.3, "Pure Rock," back in the mid-90's.

A typical night on Q104.3 would feature Pantera, White Zombie, Type O Negative, NIN, Nirvana, Sevendust, and Mandatory Metallica every weekday night at 9PM. It was a perfect radio station format... until K-Rock back then decided to switch from a "classic rock" format to an "alternative rock" format. Since Howard Stern was on K-Rock, the powers-that-be over at Q104.3 assumed that they would lose their whole audience to K-Rock, since they'd then sound similarly... although K-Rock's format would never play as good music as Q104.3's... but hindsight is 20-20. Bottom line: Q104.3 got nervous, so they changed their format to "classic rock" to stay distinct from K-Rock, and thus one day I realized I was listening to Elton John's "Crocodile Rock," when I expected to hear Powerman 5000. (incidentally, I realized this on the same exact road as when I heard on the radio several years later that Jason Newsted announced he had left Metallica... that is one unlucky patch of asphalt!)

And then, after playing absolute garbage the last couple of years (ie: the state of popular rock today) K-Rock decided to jump on the "It's cool to be into Led Zeppelin and Ozzy, now" bandwagon (don't believe me, just peek in a Hot Topic at the mall) and started playing hair rock, grunge rock, and some selected heavy metal. These days, you take what you can get, so I put away my cd's and I enjoyed the new format.

So now, with Howard Stern leaving K-Rock, due to increasing FCC pressure and absurd "indecency" regulations, and moving to Sirius satellite radio, K-Rock will be once again changing their format to all-talk. There are many of you out there that liked 102.7 back when they were all-talk, what with shows like Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez. Personally, I didn't really like it all that much, I would rather listen to music.

2. This is a trasparent swipe at Howard Stern. They're calling the new format: "Free FM," as opposed to satellite, which you have to pay for. That's an awfully cheap shot, guys. Believe me, it really isn't a question of money. If you are really into Howard Stern, you'll get the satellite radio, and if not... you won't. I won't. I'll miss listening, but I was never a big fan of the show. People aren't going to be swayed on account of money. For me, listening to Howard isn't worth the effort of getting satellite. So basically, Free FM is just a gay, snarky little title for K-Rock, in order to "distinguish themselves from Howard Stern's satellite show. But it's not the money, it's the Stern that makes the distinction. Stern is in a class by himself, and there is no show that K-Rock has in the pipeline that will come anywhere in the same galaxy as Howard Stern's success. As one wise commentator said, " You don't want to be the guy who replaces Howard Stern... you'd much rather would be the guy who replaces the guy who replaced Howard Stern."

While on the subject, I think all the FCC regulation on radio is patently ridiculous. As long as Howard Stern doesn't use F, S, or C... what's the big hairy deal? Children are not exposed to Howard Stern because he's on in the morning, when kids are at school. Unassuming adults who wouldn't appreciate Howard Stern's show have the lovely option of immediately changing the station or turning off the radio. And what Howard Stern says is pretty tame compared to what kids can easily find on the internet after they get home. Let's be honest, here.