I'm a Bit Nervous...

Frankie G, the Saddest Bee

It's Wednesday night, and I'm feeling the growing twinge of anxiety twisting around in my gut. These next two days are going to be jam-packed with activity, and I, for one... am skeptical about my chances of accomplishing everything adequately. My major source of doubt comes from my magical ability to sleep through my alarm each morning from my clock radio. I set it for 9AM, and then I wake up... all rested and full of pep... at 1...PM... again.

...and I'm fired...

...again.

I really need to work on that. (But no, I'm not actually fired... but I seriously need to improve my punctuality!) Not only does my waking up late impact upon my success (or lack thereof) at arriving to work on time, but it also severely limits what I can get done before work. Since I work from 3PM-11PM, any sort of errands I need to run must be done beforehand, as not too many reputable dry cleaning places or accounting firms are open when I get off duty.

So anyway, In the next two days, these things are happening: 10AM Thursday: meeting with Curtis about some sort of mock-trial where I'm playing a witness (more on this later), 12:30PM Thursday: appointment at Pearl Vision for eye exam, 3PM Thursday, work. Sometime before 3PM, I'll need to pick up another propane tank for my coleman grill. Friday should be more interesting: Ally will arrive at my house at 8AM, drive with me to Saturn Service Garage where I'll drop my car off, then drive me to St. John's Law School by 9-ish for the mock trial thingy, then, at 12 noon, we'll drive two of Curtis's girlfriend's friends to the New Hyde Park train station. Hopefully, by this point, my car will be ready to go, and Ally can bring me to pick it up. Then, we'll get back in time for Chris to pick the two of us up from my house at 4PM for the Yankees-Red Sox game. Whoof.

Granted, the hard part about Thursday will just be getting my tuchus out of bed by 9:30. That's true. If I can manage to overcome my personal inertia, I can probably get my crap together. As for Friday, I'm more than a little trepidated. (Is that a word? I mean, "trepidation" means "a state of caution or worry." Maybe I should drop my made-up SAT words and stick to English. I'm "worried." How's that sound?)

Frankly, I liked "trepidated," but that's just me.

As for this mock trial thing, I'm kinda trepidated. I have to memorize 5 pages of information from this case file and "play" one of the witnesses.

"The role of J.C. Silver for this performance will be played by Thomas Crimmins..."

According to the case file, I'm going to be a 30-year-old dog-trainer and part-time paralegal. Something happens and... I don't know. I can't really concentrate on this. I'm going to be cross-examined. All I know for sure is that once the defense attorney goes after me, he or she's gonna poke my story so full of holes I won't know which way is which...

"So, Mr. Silver, you have said under oath, that you are the plaintiff's next door neighbor... is that correct?"

"Yes."

"And you go on to say that you saw my client approach the plaintiff, "kick him in the 'berries'" as you put it so colorfully, and then, "and ran off with his pet pomerian 'Ms. Fanniweather."

"That is correct."

"Mr. Silver, how did you identify my client?"

"He was wearing a blue Van Halen t-shirt, yellow bikepants, and scuba flippers, and a cowboy hat."

"Van Halen,' you say? Which lineup, with David Lee Roth, Sammy Hagar, or Gary Cherone?"

"I...uh."

"Come on, Mr. Silver! If you could identify my client, then you certainly could ascertain which lineup of Van Halen was depicted on his so-called Van Halen tee... so which one was it?"

"Um... Gary Cherone?"

"Cherone?' Well, that's very interesting that you should see him in a Cherone-era Van Halen shirt, considering that all merchandise related to the Cherone lineup of Van Halen was ordered destroyed by federal mandate! There are no t-shirts with Gary Cherone on them!"

"Oh, geeze... I don't know, maybe it was an Extreme t-shirt."

"Mr. Silver. Are you now saying that not only are you unsure of which lineup of Van Halen was on the t-shirt, but you are now unsure of what band it was at all? Do you know anything? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I propose that this witness is not credible at all. And I move to have his faulty testimony stricken from the record."

And at this point, I'd be crying... it wouldn't be pretty. And thanks to me, a pomeranian-stealing psychopath in a cowboy hat will be walking the streets... free as a spandex-wearing bird in scuba flippers.

I'll make sure to give a post-game analysis this Saturday or Sunday. And hopefully, when the dust finally settles, I'll have my errands all taken care of.

Today, I spent the day with Ally at the Vanderbilt Mansion out in Centerport. I went there back when I was a wee lad, in third grade. There's a planetarium there. What made the biggest impression on my third grade mind was the sprawling, Spanish-style mansion tucked away in the woods. The architecture is so fascinating, where the home is an amalgamation of various cultural styles from around the world. The entrance is a wide gate with a spikey portcullis hanging down as if you're entering some monstruous mouth. There are bridges, and courtyards, and mysterious little passages here and there throughout the mansion and surrounding property. Inside the mansion, there was a museum set up with all the specimens and artifacts collected by the Vanderbilts. I think, at that point, at the tender age of 9, I decided I wanted to be wealthy man of leisure. Yep. That was it for me. Live in a secluded, gigantic mansion, surrounded by historical artifacts and animals collected from around the world, go on amazing trips, throw lavish parties, and go sailing.

Of course, there's no college major called "Being a Vanderbilt," so I went with "Elementary Education."

Oh well.

The trip was a nice little walk through memory lane, but sadly, the mysterious mansion wasn't so mysterious to my 26 year-old eyes. It was still an awesome house, but... in that annoying tendency of maturity, things that appeared gigantic to a child, tend to shrink when viewed by an adult.

Feedback Question of the Day:
"What would be your dream lifestyle? This could include family, spouse, profession, wealth, where your house would be, what sort of house, etc. What do you picture as your ideal station in life?"