New Jersey... How I Love Thee...

The World According to Sabbath: "Ya know, lads... I do believe I can taste colors. Blimey!" Young unknowns from Birmingham, England, "Black Sabbath," debuted in the States this past week at "Ozzfest" in New Jersey. I see a lot of potential for these plucky young men.

As the guitarist for Killswitch Engage so poetically put it, "New Jersey, How I love thee... Jersey is kinda like an old hooker: sorta dirty, has a weird smell... but you always come back for more!"

This past Tuesday, I experienced the unbridled onslaught that is Ozzfest. This was my first Ozzfest ever, and I do believe, I may have caught one of the greatest concert experiences of my life. How could withering heat, sleep deprivation, and a headlining band with a combined age of over 200 add up to such a claim? Read on, gentle reader...

I was to be picked up Tuesday morning around 7:30 AM by Ron, a coworker of Louie and elder of the metal tribe. Since I'm essentially a vampire these days, I pretty much procrastinated and farted around until I reached the point the night before when I realized there was no way I could go to sleep in time to wake up for a 7:30 pickup. So I figured, in the infinite wisdom one possesses at 4:30 in the morning, that I should just round the horn, take one for the team, forego slumber, and stay up and wait for my ride. And I did just that, I jogged, showered, had a meal, shaved my stubble into a most fearsome design, and at 6:30 donned my hetfield, urban camo pants, and combat boots, and then... just... layed down... on my bed... I think I'll just rest here... read a comic book... close my eyes for just a second, pillow so soft...

TOM!

...guh, wuzzat...?

ARE YOU EXPECTING SOMEONE NAMED, "RON"?

...buh, me want sleepy...

TOM! WAKE UP! RON'S HERE!

It was 7:20, and Ron was early. And at that point, friends... I knew I had an uphill battle to climb. Gamely though, I jumped in Ron's mustang and we headed off to Astoria to meet up with Louie and his buddy Mike (an awesome guy by the way... Louie, too.)